G Brand
by ShougiKnight
Summary: Gokudera gets a new mission from Tsuna. He's headed back to Italy for a high-profile bodyguard mission,via Italy's Fashion Industry. Zoolander-inspired plot. Humor. Slight 8059. Chapter 2/5.
1. Mission Briefing

Gokudera confidently stepped into Tsuna's office and saluted.

"Juudaime, you called for me?"

"Oh! Gokudera-kun! Right. I have a mission for you." Tsuna looked up from his seat, a mixture of expressions on his face. Reborn stood behind his chair, smirking.

Gokudera paused, a little apprehensive of the meaning behind Reborn's cruel smirk. Something was up, and the joke was seemed to be on him.

"Of course, Juudaime. What is it you need me to do?" He was still staring at Reborn, getting more worried by the minute.

"Well, you see, Gokudera. It's a job that only you can do. …Technically. Are you sure you want a mission?" Tsuna glanced off to the side nervously and folded his hands, trying to be business-like.

"Yes. I will do anything you ask me to, you know this." Gokudera nodded his consent. Reborn leaned forward and signed on the witness line of the mission file and stepped back.

"Well, I know. And under any _normal_ circumstances, I would hardly bother asking. But this mission is a bit on the 'special' side, Gokudera." Tsuna was fidgeting nervously.

Reborn cleared his throat, "Dame-Tsuna is not explaining himself clearly. Gokudera, how familiar are you with the Italian fashion industry?"

Gokudera raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm as acquainted as any other Italian."

Reborn nodded his approval and picked up a thick manila folder. "Good. Then you won't need to look over this, unless you feel that a refresher course is in order."

Tsuna's jaw dropped, "What? I was up all night reading that! How in the world can you already know all of that….nonsense!"

Gokudera smiled sheepishly, "It's not all nonsense, Juudaime. I guess you could say it's in my blood. Everyone in Italy pays attention to the Fashion Industry. The brand names are as big over there as sports teams in America. Fashion Week is a major holiday."

"Dame-Tsuna, just give him the mission briefing already." Reborn folded his arms sternly.

"A-ah…of course." Tsuna lifted up a paper and read off of it, "This mission is a bodyguard position for a political leader. He, being the previous Sword Emperor, (defeated by one Superbi Squalo who was in turn defeated by Yamamoto Takeshi) holds the honorable position of Prime Minister of Micronesia in addition to being the Sword Emperor's acting representative in the absence of both of the above mentioned Mafioso. As both members are associated with the Vongola Famiglia, he is considered to be a contactable ambassador-level ally. Sources report that a possible assassination attempt is in line for the closing show of Fashion Week. Gokudera Hayato, should you choose to accept this mission, you will be posing as a fashion designer for an upcoming brand, G Brand. Your appearance must, at all times, be fashionable and conducive to industry standards. You must create the image of your brand in a favorable manner so that as the main designer you will be set near the VIP placing of the Prime Minister…" Tsuna trailed off, noticing that Gokudera was fidgeting uncomfortably. "Uh….did I say something wrong?"

"Juudaime…D-do you know what "conducive to industry standards" means?" Gokudera stammered out, his face turning red.

"Uh…no not really... Doesn't it just mean that you have to act professional and stuff?"

"Actually, it's kind of the opposite, Juudaime…." Gokudera shuffled his feet.

"Homosexuality is encouraged and expected. Other expected traits include high maintenance personality, high energy, socialite, able to deal with ridiculous amounts of stress etc etc. All of which, Gokudera should have no problem with. He's a shoe-in for the position." Reborn ticked off on his fingers.

"Wh-what? I'm not h-hom…" Gokudera started.

"Oh, come on. You've had a crush on Yamamoto ever since the Varia Ring Battles." Reborn smirked back.

Tsuna's jaw dropped as he stared at Reborn. "You mean I was right? I didn't want to be right about that!"

Gokudera's face was bright red as he tried to shrink back into the chair he was sitting in.

"I-I mean…o-of course it's fine i-if you are…h-homo-homosexual, Gokudera. I'm just a little…surprised is all."

Gokudera's hands clenched as he grumbled out, "You could have at least let me tell you myself…"

"I'm sorry! F-Forgive me! I-it won't come up again! …u-unless of course you w-want to… talk about it or… something..." Tsuna froze up and then slammed his head into his desk. "Let's just change the subject already…"

"Yeah, lets." Gokudera quipped, turning to Reborn.

Reborn tipped his hat and smirked, "Just business then. Do you or do you not understand the terms of the mission?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you or do you not accept this mission?"

"Are you sure I'm the only one who can do it?"

Reborn lifted an eyebrow. "And who, pray tell, would be able to do it in your place?"

"Yamamoto maybe….?" Gokudera stammered.

"We can't. He's too close to the emperor. He would be recognized. Anyone else?"

"Merde! I don't know! You tell me!"

"As you wish…Tsuna is ineligible because bodyguard missions are not acceptable for Heads of Family to take. Yamamoto we already discussed. Mukuro has the Prime Minister on his hitlist already so he's out. In order for the mission to be effective it must be performed by a male, females have a harder time rising in popularity. Thus, for the deadline's sake, Chrome and Haru are out. Lambo is too young and the wrong brand of disrespectful. Hibari has requested for no bodyguard missions. Which we adhere closely to simply because if he were to get irritated and attack the person he were to be bodyguarding…Tsuna would have a lot more paperwork to do. Ryohei has no fashion sense and should need no further explanation."

Gokudera was floored. He really was the only one that could go. And it would be solo too.

"….Fine. I'll accept the damn mission. But don't expect me to be happy about it."

Reborn smirked, "Starting on following industry standards a little early now, are we?" He handed Gokudera the remaining folder. "Be ready to leave day after tomorrow, six am. A car will be out front to take you to the airport."


	2. Conducive to Industry Standards

Okay, he'd admit it, acting in a way that was "conducive to industry standards" was pretty damn good when you started at the top. First day on the job everyone simply feared and cowered away from him. That felt good. They never once got his coffee order wrong. That was better. Getting to draw on their portfolios? That was the best. The entire first week was a blast. Third day on the job he ordered a Starbucks installed on the ground floor. Four days later it was open for business.

"What the hell kind of scarf is this? Was it your grandmother's? Get rid of it."

"This ensemble needs more jewelry. You think anyone would pay attention to anything that boring?"

"Nope, neckline needs to be squared off and lower. And that hem needs to be higher with a more accentuated A-line."

"The theme is Eco-Punk, not trashy. So stop getting ideas from the red-light district already and get your ass back here in the morning with a better brain."

"Did you not understand me when I said tea-stained? That means 'unbleached' you IDIOTS! I'll give you tea-stained." Gokudera threw his Chai at the white sundress. "Now I don't want to see another white-white in this show! Do you hear me? Eco means NO BLEACH!" He paused a moment to glower at the nodding assistants. "Now blowdry this dress and stick it in the show, it's at least well put-together." He stalked off, smirking to himself. It's good to be on top.

His office was huge and empty. Very vogue, apparently. He started going through his emails, starting with Vongola business, of course. He skimmed through the en-field briefings between phone-calls. 'Expect a visit from an inside advisor? What the hell was that? Okay, if Juudaime says so.' He continued scrolling through the news updates. 'Yamamoto's team won another game. Count it on Juudaime to consider that official business news.' Gokudera smiled.

"G-Gokudera…the new set of portfolios have come in. Would you like me to bring them to you?" His secretary walked in and bowed, apparently she heard him yelling into his phone in Japanese a few times or something.

"Yeah sure, I need something to scribble on." He rested his head on his palm. "Oh, and Barbara?"

"It's Amber."

"Get rid of that top, it's disgusting." His usual dismissal. She even smiled a little this time. Oh well, I guess _that_ part of "conducive to industry standards" would be next.

"Oh, and Barbara?"

"It's Amber." Another smile.

"Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, Amber."

Now, if that didn't spread like wildfire, he didn't know what would. Everyone would know about their dinner date within 20 minutes.

Grabbing a red fine-point Sharpie, he glanced down at the portfolios that were now on his desk, full-on grinning. 'All right, now what other G-scripted insults could he have silkscreened onto these outfits?'

G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59-G-59

He got ready quickly. It was an easy choice. It was Thursday, that meant Armani and his Armani suit was definitely his favorite. It was a casual dinner date though so that meant no tie and his regular necklaces were permissible. He ran a hand through his hair and called for the car. He'd be meeting her there. Very casual.

He pulled up and told the attendant his reservation. He was a fashionable 20 minutes late and of course, she was already there, sipping on water. He smiled and cracked his knuckles. This was going to be fun.

They started off talking about work. He, being the perfect gentleman (of course), casually slipped in the occasional personal question. Finally, he had the conversation just where he had aimed for.

She smiled pleasantly. "So enough about me, tell me about _your_ personal life, boss. Do you have a girlfriend? Single?" Her foot slid to touch his under the table.

He smiled winningly, "Boyfriend actually. He's on a major league baseball team in America. Do you follow baseball at all?" If Yamamoto heard him right now, he'd die of laughter.

Her foot slid away from his and he folded his hands under his chin, thoroughly pleased.

"No, I'm afraid I don't follow it much."

"Well, you may have heard of him anyway. Takeshi Yamamoto?"

Her jaw dropped. Of course she'd heard of him, who hadn't? Rookie to MVP (in his first season)didn't happen every year, after all. He smiled again. This was the most fun he'd had since this mission started. And you'd better believe that the previous 'most fun' was ridiculously hard to beat.

"Oh! Yes I've heard of him. I had no idea that he was..well…I mean I hadn't heard it on the news or anything." She stammered, her face turning an interesting mix of white and pink.

"Oh, you wouldn't have heard. We haven't gone public. Which, of course, would mean that you won't be telling anyone. Right, Barbara? We wouldn't want my boyfriend to lose his job, right?" His charming smile darkened a little, threatening her job as well. "Of course, you're welcome to tell people that I'm taken if they ask, just not who it is. This is our little secret." He tilted his head, smile seemingly sincere again.

She laughed lightly and without humor. "Of course! I'm flattered that you would trust me so much, boss!"

He winked and picked up the check. "Well, you've never given me reason not to trust you, Barbara. See you at work tomorrow, bright and early." He stood and held out a hand to help her up. As soon as she was standing he withdrew his hand. Straightening his tie and giving her a little bow he took his leave.

Checkmate. He had played his side of the game perfectly. It would spread like the plague through the office before his breakfast was over. It may even appear in the Gossip column of a minor fashion magazine. Nothing that would be damaging to his or Yamamoto's reputation, since all of the claims would be mere speculation. He smirked, and he'd never have to worry about the 'homosexuality' part of this mission ever again.

It was good to be a genius sometimes.


	3. Intermission Something Fabulous

Intermission:

Just over two weeks left before the show and everything was moving along nicely. Gokudera unlocked his jewelry box and puzzled over a particular ensemble that his designers couldn't seem to get right. Ten minutes, and a lot of studs later, Gokudera stepped into a taxi with a half-grunt in greeting to Vongola's hired driver.

Maybe his mafia instincts were going haywire, or maybe he had something on his face? Everyone seemed to be skittish and nervous. Was there a bomb in the building? 'Scheisse I hope so, that would be fun.' Gokudera smirked to himself to make him feel better. It was nothing he couldn't handle, right?

He started hearing the rumors first-hand around noon. He was to be visited…by a god. He laughed outright at that one. There were very few fashion gods in Italy and they mostly kept to themselves. He was still technically a rookie, although the entire line had been pre-groomed for success thanks to the Vongola's ties. G-brand getting a visit from a god was…unnecessary.

After his third cup of straight black coffee he was, well besides jittery, starting to second guess himself. There was something nagging at the back of his mind. Something he was desperately trying to remember.

He was stuffing a tulle skirt with shredded newspaper to give it a little extra body when he heard someone behind him reverently whisper the word 'peacock.' He whirled on them. Eco-punk does not equal peacock, the fuck were they thinki-oh.

Lussuria. Fuck. No! Wait! Ah God no! EWww!

Gokudera scrunched his forehead and made a face. "Well you're looking awful as usual, Lussuria." He saw Barbara faint out of the corner of his eye. Smirking he continued. "Did the poor zebra die before or after you skinned it? Or was it Bester's lunch yesterday?" The room uttered a collective gasp, murmuring under their breath at his unspeakable faux pas.

Lussuria just laughed "Oh ho ho! You're too sweet 'Dera Dearie!"

Gokudera shuddered at the new nickname. Ugh.

Lussuria put his hand on his cheek and wiggled over to the skirt Gokudera had been working on. "Oh my! This tulle is fabulous! It's the perfect weight! I certainly hope the lingerie you model with it won't be too inconspicuous next to it."

Gokudera pointed to the assistant standing nearest the floored Barbara. "You. Make sure this skirt is NOT modeled with lingerie. Make it a hat if you have to." The girl's face paled, not sure if she should obey her boss or the fashion god.

Gokudera spun on his heel and pointed an accusing finger at the flamboyant rainbow that was wiggling all over his design room. "You. Conference room. No Questions. Don't make me make that an order."

Lussuria pretended to wilt for all of two seconds before prancing after the angry Gokudera that was stalking down the hallway toward the conference room.

When Lussuria walked in Gokudera was already sitting on the desk, looking as though he had a massive headache.

"All right, what is it that you want? Make it quick please." Gokudera spoke, his forehead resting on three fingers.

"Oh dearie, I'm so sorry! Did mama stress you out? Can I get you some coffee?"

"No! No more coffee!" Gokudera threw both hands out, an alarmed look on his face. "Just…tell me why you're here."

"Oh ho ho! Didn't Tsunayoshi tell you I was on my way? Squ-chan told me he had contacted him. I'm here to help with your fashion line!" Lussuria bounced like a teenage girl.

Gokudera thought for a moment, considering the politics of the statement. It _would_ be helpful to have someone else who was competent around. Maybe he could fire Barbara…

Gokudera's head snapped up as he stared levelly at the conflagrating rainbow zebra in front of him. Lussuria pursed his lips and made a peace sign, hearts appearing above his head.

"First thing's first, I am Vongola's right hand man. You, babysit the assassination squad serving UNDER me. Am I clear?" Gokudera folded his arms, clearly expecting acquiescence.

"But 'Dera Dearie! Mama is supposed to be in control of the house!" Lussuria wiggled again. Merde that man can be annoying.

"I absolutely refuse to entertain any metaphor where I am paired with you in pseudo-matrimony. You will find a new metaphor."

"But 'Dera Dearie-!"

"Fuck! Stop calling me that!"

"Ohhhh! 'Dera Dearie! You sound so stressed! Do you need to spar to release some of that tension?" Lussuria moved around behind Gokudera and reached for his shoulders.

Gokudera spun around so fast his eyesight flickered black. "You!" he pointed accusingly, "are a close range combat fighter. I!" he thumbed his chest, "am a mid to long range fighter. You!" he pointed again, "would not stand a chance. Are. We. Clear."

Lussuria sighed melodramatically. "Well all right, I suppose I can let you be the top, just this once….if….you can provide me with adequate reason to do so."

"FUCK! EWWW GROSS NO! What did I say about the pseudo-matrimony metaphors?" Gokudera felt like throwing up all three cups of coffee.

"But 'Dera Dearie! Who said that matrimony was required?" Lussuria's eyebrows wiggled suggestively.

Gokudera took a deep breath, collecting himself. "Fine, from now on, you are my secretary, Barbara. After the show. You're gone. Understood?"

Lussuria jumped up and down cheering; he paused after a minute, "Dera Dearie, when did you start calling that nice Yamamoto boy, Barbara?"

"…" Gokudera's face was blank. "I believe you should start fearing for your life around now."

Lussuria giggled and ran off "Oh Barbara dear! I want to know EVERYTHING about what you do!..."


End file.
